Funny story
This is a true story, which everybody should read before they think about erecting
or dismantling Christmas lights. The story is about an accident report that was
printed in a New Zealand paper, equivalent to the public compensation board.
Had Tony Delongi died he would have walked away with a Darwin Award.
This is wrote in the words of Tony Delongi:
Dear Sir. I am writing in response to your request for additional information in
section 3 of the accident report form. I put "POOR PLANNING" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and i trust the following will be
sufficient.
On the day of the accident i was on the roof of a six storey building, dismantling
Christmas light decorations with four others. After dismantling the frames and
cables we decided to use a builders pulley and wooden crate, which was attached
to the side of the building on the sixth floor. At approximately 1pm my colleques
went into town for a meal, i had sandwiches and decided to stay.
By 2pm my colleques had not returned, so i decided to lower the decorations
myself using the pulley and crate. When weighed later the decorations were found
to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.
Securing the rope at ground level, i went up to the roof, swung the crate out and
loaded the decorations into it. Then i went down and untied the rope, holding it
tightly to secure a slow descent of the decorations. You will note in section 2
of the accident report form that i weigh 135lbs.
Due to my suprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, i lost my
prescence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, i proceeded
at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, i met
the crate, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and broken collarbone, as
listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, i continued
my rapid accent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time i had regained my presence
of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain
i was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however,
the crate of decorations hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the crate.
Now devoid of the weight of the decorations the crate weighed approximately
50lbs.
I refer again to my weight. As you might imagine, i began a rapid descent down
the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor , i met the crate coming
up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken teeth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly.
The encounter with the crate seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries
when i fell into the pile of decorations, and fortunately only three vertebrae were
cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as i lay there on the pile of decorations, in pain,
unable to move, i again lost my composure and prescence of mind and i let go
of the rope and i lay there watching the empty crate begin its journey back
down onto me.
This explains the two broken legs, broken nose and severed ear.
I hope this clarifies and answers all your latest enquiries.
Every year the Alnwick Christmas Lights Team have our own Award
"THE RED BULB" this award is given to a member of the team that makes
the biggest mistake while erecting or dismantling the Christmas
lights around the town.
This year however we feel that Tony Delongi should be nominated for our
award.
BE CAREFUL.
